Uber needs more Ride types: Let me explain the speed thing…
Observations of a Middle-aged Dragon with a tattoo:
Uber needs more Ride types: Let me explain the speed thing…
They have UberX: the least expensive Uber service. Then UberXL right up to UberBLACK etc etc etc.
My head nearly exploded when I had Elma Fudd as my Uber driver, taking me to the airport on a very, very tortuous and SLOW route. My 'restrained' atomic explosion of frustration being barely held back as he took every slow route and made every possible SLOW decision when stringing his way through the traffic to the airport. Like he was using his stringing to make a Macramé hanging pot holder, all those knots and twists. When all I wanted was straight and direct, like an arrow.
Right there - between internal explosions, knots and twists in my stomach and using his stringing-along for a noose, to put myself out of my misery - I decided Uber should offer more options than the type of car.
They should offer DRIVER options. All based on speed, talent and cleverness of the driver around his ability to drive and move around traffic.
The UBER driver list: Drivers rated on their speed of delivery:
The SLOWEST
When you have all the time in the world and want a nice chat with your Uber driver and enjoy a good macramé twisted pot holder - you need slow and chatty. You need the...
Grandad with a hat category: Slow and chatty
Increasing in speed from here:
Grandad no hat
Sunday Church Goer
Sunday Driver
Mum with a Minivan full of kids because she will drive safe but nudge the speed limit because invariably; she's late.
And then there's the SOCCER MUM... late for practice:
Bank Heist getaway DRIVER; just beats out soccer mum.
And the FASTEST OF ALL...
The Formula One driver category: Fast and Sexy (as opposed to Slow and Chatty)
What a joy to look at...
Mmmmm now they're going to make you forget...hang on where were you even going? As for frustration...what? That might be a whole different type of frustration... the GOOD kind... I mean just look at them they are insanely handsome... of course they'd have to be driving a fine, fine car... and then the speed will truly kick in.
I'm sure there are many more categories that could slide in between those mentioned, but you get the idea.
Either way, forget the type of car Uber offer, the one that gets you from A to B the most economical way.
Say hello to type of driver Uber offer and shake hands with less frustration and the speed you want.
Uber take notice: provide the full service with the extra categories as above.
Speed up your life into the fast lane and drop that BAD frustration...
Dare you to...
Signs of our times from the world
Observations of a Middle-Aged Dragon with a Tattoo:
Signs of our time
From all over the world
From Paris with love
No tulips….in Amsterdam
Better luck in Fremantle
From Moscow with ‘how the mighty have fallen’ love…
For the last word I’ll leave it to Melbourne.
Mark your own mark. Dare you to….
Happy Easter Dare you to....
Observations of a Middle-Aged Dragon with a Tattoo:
Happy Easter to everyone!
For the Geeks and Scientists:
For the Mums and Dads:
For the Crime Buffs:
A laugh for the disappointed:
For everyone at the end of Easter:
For those who’d like to have a Happy Easter and skip the chocolate;
Dare you to….
How Did We Survive?
Observations of a Middle-Age Dragon with a Tattoo:
How did we survive?
CONGRATULATIONS to people born in the 60s, 70s, 80s and early 1990s.
You SURVIVED!! Actually you THRIVED … Even when
Our MOTHERs:
- Drank while they carried us
- Took Aspirin
- Ate Blue Cheese, Salami, Tuna, Salmon and salads older than 24 hours.
AFTER BEING BORN:
- We were vaccinated (and never suffered from measles, mumps, and polio and never suffered from any terrible conspiracy except being HEALTHY).
- Were given Brandy to help get rid of any wind.
- Ate and played in dirt (we had less allergies).
- Played with hand-me-down toys, slept in cots that didn’t have any Government safety standard seal of approval.
AS CHILDREN WE:
- Played in kitchens with no child proof locks on cabinet doors, drawers, and medicine bottles.
- Rode bikes with NO HELMETs.
- Drank Water straight from TAPs and HOSES.
- Shared water bottles.
- SHARED one soft drink with four other friends.
- We ate meat that had been cooked after being defrosted all day at room temperature from a fully frozen state.
- Washed dishes up in a sink with a dish cloth that wasn’t infused with anti-bacterials (Oh the horror) and simple dishwashing detergent.
- AND NO ONE DIED from any of this!
- ATE cakes made with real sugar and real butter. They were home made; on kitchen tops not sanitised to within an inch of their lives. The cakes didn’t have to look like something out of a Hollywood set. But they tasted so good.
- We weren’t VEGANs or had parents on the Keto diet.
- Despite all of this WE WEREN’T OVERWEIGHT or suffered from severe ALLERGIES.
- BECAUSE we were always outside getting dirty and playing, morning to dusk or until the street lights came on (if we lived in a place with street lights).
- If we had the chance we were outside running, and playing games like; COPs and ROBBERs, COWBOYs and INDIANs. With toy guns…. And we didn’t grow into bigoted, gun toting maniacs.
- We climbed trees, swung in trees from a tyre and rope, rolled down grassy hills (again not being allergic), ran, stubbed our toes, rode bikes at break neck speed with no helmets, played in mud, and puddles.
- In short we GOT DIRTY.
- We built things out of discarded boxes etc, we found around home, go-carts, boats, came to life. WE USED IMAGINATION and it didn’t come out of a box and wasn’t always brand spanking new.
- We; God forbid; invented games with sticks and balls and although we knew about it, no one EVER lost an eye!
- We broke bones, got scratches, gravel rashes and had bodies that could function without straining something doing something normal kids should be able to do like climb across a jungle gym without falling.
- We had co-ordination and no rubber mats under our play equipment.
- If we did get hurt, we didn’t blame anyone else. There were no lawsuits where people sued someone else. HOW DID WE SURVIVE!
- Because we played, we fell-down, ran into trees and bushes, we got hurt. Our parents told us it served us right for acting like an idiot. WE WERE ALLOWED to make mistakes.
- WE learnt THAT DOING STUPID THINGS HAD CONSEQUENCES. It limited the number of dumb and dumber things we did when we got older.
AS TEENAGERS:
- If we said we were bored…. Well we didn’t get bored because we could always find something to entertain us. WE COULD ENTERTAIN OURSELVES.
- We even read real books, that we could take anywhere, and they didn’t need WiFi or batteries for a screen!
- If by some chance we were still bored we were conscripted into helping Mum clean the house, especially the toilets. A reason why we weren’t ever bored.
- We did odd jobs to make money:
- Our parents didn’t have to be in contact with us 24/7 but somehow, they knew where we were.
- We had TVs but only 2 or maybe 4 channels.. How DID WE SURVIVE. TVs weren’t something we got lured to sitting in front of all day because we had better ways to entertain ourselves.
- We didn’t need to take photos of everything we were involved with like our food, and we certainly didn’t take photos of ourselves ever minute of the day.
- We didn’t have social media, internet, chat rooms, texts, FaceTime, Skype, Instagram, Facebook and snapchat. If you wanted to talk to someone or meet someone you went outside and found them.
What can you remember you “survived” was it really fun? Dare you to…
Another New Year: Another list of 'how long will they last' 2019 resolutions
Observations of a Middle-aged Dragon with a tattoo:
Can we make "OUR" New Year resolutions last?
I don’t have answers and I don’t give advice. I have suggestions and hope to have you laugh and enjoy your day. For me it’s more like this:
Another New Year. 'Another bunch of the how long will they last' resolutions?
And as for 2019 resolutions:
Design your own life
Don’t just desire it.
Throw caution to the wind, laugh and consider life:
it’s yours after all..
BE YOU: Let yourself go
DREAM BIG: Whatever they are:
SPEND Time with Yourself:
When DISAPPOINTMENT raises its ugly head:
FIND A WAY to rise above other people's judgement:
Spend time with priceless people not cheap pretenders: Life's too short.
Devote time to these friends. Dare you to....
Reflecting on 2018
Observations of a Middle-Aged Dragon with a Tattoo:
Observations and Reflections of 2018:
How many times did this happen?
And we so hoped…
At the end of the day when energy was defeated and Uber eats was
a whole lot of appealing we did use …
MIND: Alas the agony,
BODY: Oh ! The ageing
SOUL: Being able to laugh at ourselves:
The results of 2018 goal-setting:
Life was meant to be interesting and it is enriched by the more challenging the journey;
not the destination.
In the end when reflecting on the year; true friends are our riches and a REAL indication of our self-worth.
Go out and celebrate with the people who make you feel the most valuable. Dare you to….
A Christmas Survival Recipe to Get you Through!
Observations of a Middle-aged Dragon with a tattoo:
So this is Christmas…
Never fear I have a recipe to help you make it through. Read On…
There are a number of ways you can go.
You can do this:
OR you can do this:
Both have merit and there is no judgement either way. Because Christmas is individual, and I must admit I like the creativity of the latter.
Sometimes little Christmas treats like this happen,
While we all wait on the big guy to show up
We all need to remember this recipe.
I understand it also works well with champagne,
wine (both red and white), rum, vodka, gin, scotch and brandy
(any alcohol) although not mixed altogether. You
need to drink responsibly after all.
Enjoy Christmas, anyway that's the best for YOU! Dare you to…
An addition to the one job debacle
Observations of a Middle-aged Dragon with a tattoo:
A couple of weeks ago the; ONE JOB, that’s you had ONE JOB, post went up. So from the people that brought you this…
They now bring you this….
Dead wallaby painted over by workers marking Tasmanian road leave public hopping mad
Posted ABC News: Tue at 2:37amTue 4 Dec 2018, 2:37am
Photo: Garrick Cameron said he could not believe what he was seeing. (Facebook: Lord Of The Lettuce)
"I've seen memes of stuff like that on Facebook before but I never thought I'd see that in the flesh, and right out the front of my house."
Facebook comments criticised why the animal had not been removed by the road workers.
In the video, the Lord of the Lettuce can been seen picking up the dead animal, leaving a distinct gap in the white line marking.
"It's just so typical in this day and age — you know, just do the hours, not the work," he said.
"It just amazes me that someone could have such little pride in what they do. Now there's a big gap in the road about two feet long."
Research G. Evans
Remember it's only life, just laugh... Dare you to..
Doing if for the kids; our kids
Observations of a Middle-aged Dragon with a tattoo:
Doing it for the KIDS
They are the love of our lives
and then there’s these times:
KIDS, TECH and PARENTs
Sometimes the kids may have a point
When all we are trying to do is get through arsenic hour. You know that time of the day when we’re tired, they need to be bathed, feed and homework done and then someone loses an eye!
Would they? Act now that is…
A little something to remember for next Mother’s Day
At the end of the day you can remind them
Kick your heels up, and have a laugh at the kids’ expense, and enjoy them; dare you to…
