Uber needs more Ride types: Let me explain the speed thing…

Observations of a Middle-aged Dragon with a tattoo:  

Uber needs more Ride types: Let me explain the speed thing

They have UberX: the least expensive Uber service. Then UberXL right up to UberBLACK etc etc etc.

My head nearly exploded when I had Elma Fudd as my Uber driver, taking me to the airport on a very, very tortuous and SLOW route. My ‘restrained’ atomic explosion of frustration being barely held back as he took every slow route and made every possible SLOW decision when stringing his way through the traffic to the airport. Like he was using his stringing to make a Macramé hanging pot holder, all those knots and twists. When all I wanted was straight and direct, like an arrow.

Right there – between internal explosions, knots and twists in my stomach and using his stringing-along for a noose, to put myself out of my misery – I decided Uber should offer more options than the type of car. 

They should offer DRIVER options. All based on speed, talent and cleverness of the driver around his ability to drive and move around traffic.

The UBER driver list: Drivers rated on their speed of delivery: 


When you have all the time in the world and want a nice chat with your Uber driver and enjoy a good macramé twisted pot holder – you need slow and chatty. You need the… 

Grandad with a hat category: Slow and chatty

Increasing in speed from here:

Grandad no hat

Sunday Church Goer

Sunday Driver

Mum with a Minivan full of kids because she will drive safe but nudge the speed limit because invariably; she’s late.

And then there’s the SOCCER MUM… late for practice:

Bank Heist getaway DRIVER; just beats out soccer mum.


The Formula One driver category: Fast and Sexy      (as opposed to Slow and Chatty)

What a joy to look at…

Mmmmm now they’re going to make you forget…hang on where were you even going? As for frustration…what? That might be a whole different type of frustration… the GOOD kind… I mean just look at them they are insanely handsome… of course they’d have to be driving a fine, fine car… and then the speed will truly kick in.

I’m sure there are many more categories that could slide in between those mentioned, but you get the idea.

Either way, forget the type of car Uber offer, the one that gets you from A to B the most economical way. 

Say hello to type of driver Uber offer and shake hands with less frustration and the speed you want. 

Uber take notice: provide the full service with the extra categories as above. 

Speed up your life into the fast lane and drop that BAD frustration…

Dare you to…