Bye, Bye Ben Wah: Bye Bye!

Observations of a Middle-Aged Dragon with a Tattoo: 

They just keep slippin’: slip, sliding, away.

dorth

In my quest for an exquisite orgasm and riding on the sensational efforts of Fifty Shades of Grey. I bought me some Ben Wah balls.

Conclusion: Some things should have an age limit of a maximum not a minimum.

For example, for some toys it says not for children under the age of 6. When it comes to toys of the adult kind it should say things like – not for women over the age of 45 or not for those who’ve had more than 3 children.

Of course there are always exceptions to the rule and power to you if you’re one of this rare breed.

What do I mean: just as there are children who are 4 and who can quite adequately master a game set a minimum of 6, I’m sure there are woman who are over 45 and who have had over three kids who can enjoy the pleasures of the Ben Wah balls. And as I said …. Power to you.

But for us mere mortals…. It’s a sad realisation that comes as quickly, as the thudding sound of a Ben Wah ball falling out to the bathroom or bedroom floor from the said lips they were meant to be inserted through and stay.

Sadly, no 50SoG moments for this woman, only the sudden realisation of yet another part of the anatomy that, that bitch age has caught up with.

I’d just like to say I’m not incontinent and I have quiet, a responsive pelvic floor, even my husband tells me so. Sadly, it would seem my bits and pieces down there are just sagging. I think I need bigger balls of steel. Just a tad bigger if they are to stay in the required place to have the full Anastacia Steele enhanced climax experience…

Ben Wah balls can be used to increase the strength of the pelvic floor muscles. They are indeed vaginal weight-lifting equipment. They can be used to improve vaginal tone and bladder control while enhancing the sexual experience. Now that’s a sentence I never thought I’d write.

The only enhanced experience I felt was a higher sense of frustration rippling through me and not the orgasmic kind. Defeated and somewhat deflated, I stowed the balls at the very back of my bathroom vanity… way, way, way back.

I’ll just have to be content with my normal hubby and his normal balls and my normal orgasm.

dorth

Because who has time for Pelvic floor weight lifting…. I actually don’t mind the odd weights session, but I’d rather watch grass grow than do pelvic floor exercises. Those of you out there that are smart or cheeky or both; are no doubt falling over yourselves to tell me the beauty of my situation is that I could indeed watch the grass grow AND do my pelvic floor exercises at the same time….. Ha Ha Ha. You never know, someday I may bring them out for an encore performance. Because as they say in the classics it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen….

candle